My nine year-old son, aka "Little Guy"-LG for short, is a non-stop jumble of random questions and facts. He knows nothing about transitions and can hop from talking about Captain America to tornadoes to his touchdown at recess...all in one breath. Usually there are three or four questions imbedded in his long-winded run-on sentences as well. My standard response is, "Go ask Dad." If Dad isn't home it's, "Not sure, buddy." LG isn't really looking for answers anyway, he just likes to ask things and doesn't wait for a response.
Teenage Princess (14) and Sports Girl (12) are used to their little brother's randomness and typically ignore him. This morning, however, was harder for them to do. Welcome to just another typical breakfast conversation:
LG-Mom, if a tornado comes and you get sucked up do you die? If you have a best friend who is younger than you, do you have to have a baby first?
Mom-I've never been in a tornado before, so I'm not sure. People have children when they're all sorts of ages. I was 27 when I had your sister, my sister was--
LG-If you have babies when you're younger do they have to cut them out of you? Are they bloody and gross.
Mom-Some women have babies that way but it's not about their--
LG-Can girls have babies when they're 18?
Mom-Well, yes but it's better to--
LG-If you're only 18 do you have to have the baby cut out of your body because you're so young?
Mom-No. That's not how--
LG-How do 18 year olds have babies if they're not even married yet? Do the babies just start growing early and grow in your belly later for other people?
Mom-Um, no.
(Meanwhile the girls are giggling, anticipating my answers, while LG is in his own world)
LG-Who is Captain America's mom?
Mom-(thankful for the change of subject) I don't--
LG-Superman's mom blows up and then he has earth parents that aren't his real parents but Iron Man doesn't have any either. Wait. He had a dad. He's dead. Can I get new basketball sneakers today because I'm so hot and sexy?
Yes, my son refers to himself as hot and sexy all the time. Because he's 9 and very tiny, it's cute. If he's like this when he's older I'm going to have to ask him to move out.
Teenage Princess (14) and Sports Girl (12) are used to their little brother's randomness and typically ignore him. This morning, however, was harder for them to do. Welcome to just another typical breakfast conversation:
LG-Mom, if a tornado comes and you get sucked up do you die? If you have a best friend who is younger than you, do you have to have a baby first?
Mom-I've never been in a tornado before, so I'm not sure. People have children when they're all sorts of ages. I was 27 when I had your sister, my sister was--
LG-If you have babies when you're younger do they have to cut them out of you? Are they bloody and gross.
Mom-Some women have babies that way but it's not about their--
LG-Can girls have babies when they're 18?
Mom-Well, yes but it's better to--
LG-If you're only 18 do you have to have the baby cut out of your body because you're so young?
Mom-No. That's not how--
LG-How do 18 year olds have babies if they're not even married yet? Do the babies just start growing early and grow in your belly later for other people?
Mom-Um, no.
(Meanwhile the girls are giggling, anticipating my answers, while LG is in his own world)
LG-Who is Captain America's mom?
Mom-(thankful for the change of subject) I don't--
LG-Superman's mom blows up and then he has earth parents that aren't his real parents but Iron Man doesn't have any either. Wait. He had a dad. He's dead. Can I get new basketball sneakers today because I'm so hot and sexy?
Yes, my son refers to himself as hot and sexy all the time. Because he's 9 and very tiny, it's cute. If he's like this when he's older I'm going to have to ask him to move out.
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