Whether you're an established author with an agent and a publishing house, or you're just starting out in your writing career, the writing and editing process is daunting. Not "can be" daunting. It IS. It may get easier in some ways, but in others it becomes more complex. There are a bazillion resources out there for writers, but that can be overwhelming as well. 

I love this course, Book Editing Blueprint: A Step-by-Step Plan to Making Your Novels Publishable, because it's "all" there. Super informative, lots of resources, and amazing worksheets. I totally recommend you check it out! You. Are. Welcome!!
 
Book Editing Blueprint: A Step-By-Step Plan To Making Your Novels Publishable is a self-paced online course for beginner and intermediate fiction and creative nonfiction writers.
 
Features list: The course contains 10 self-editing modules plus a bonus module on foiling the frustration. It includes:

• 28 video tutorials, most between 4-10 minutes
• 200 pages of transcripts
• 71-page workbook with worksheets and cheat sheets
• 25-page Book Editing Blueprint checklist

●      7 quizzes

Who is this course for?

• Beginner writers who have just finished, are working on, or are thinking about writing a fiction or creative nonfiction manuscript. For fiction, the course is appropriate for any genre other than picture books or books for young children. It would be appropriate for authors of short stories, middle grade novels, YA novels, novellas, or adult novels. Creative nonfiction is a manuscript about people and places (such as a memoir, essays, or biography) that can benefit from fiction techniques like description, emotion, and characterization. 
• Intermediate authors who have had a couple of books published, but their editors keep sending them back to the drawing board for multiple rounds of rewrites and the editing process still feels overwhelming. They want to turn in well-developed, polished manuscripts and get to a higher level.
• Authors who find hiring an editor too expensive and feel they might be skimping on the editing process due to cost.

●      Authors who don’t want a crazy-intensive course that will take months to get through and that they might give up on. They want a simpler way to get there.

MODULE BREAKDOWN
Welcome:

• Getting started tips
• Choose your own adventure
• Bonus lesson: How to apply creative techniques to your nonfiction book

 
Module 1: Characters
Module 2: Structure
Module 3: Point of View  
Module 4: Show, Don’t Tell  
Module 5: Dialogue
Module 6: Pacing
Module 7: Line Editing
Module 8: Copyediting
Module 9: Hiring an Editor  
Module 10: Putting It All Together
Bonus: Foiling the Frustration⁠—Motivation Strategies for Authors

It's incredibly bitter sweet to publish this book. I've been writing my Well Paired series for the past four years, and now it's come to an end. While each of the seven books in the series is a standalone, the minor characters in one book end up getting their own love story later on. And once that story is told, the couple pops back up in the rest of the series. 

If you're like me, you've fallen in love with Crystal Cove, the little coastal town in Maine, and all of the people in the small town. Carter, whose story is told in All of You, wasn't going to get his own book, but he won the hearts of readers and so he, too, finally finds his HEA.
Enjoy!
​Marianne xoxo

All of You
A Well Paired novel
Can a small-town guy who seems too good to be true win the heart of the cynical city girl?
 
Hailey Webster returns home to Maine after being away for more than a decade. Photographing the picture-perfect models wasn’t following her dreams, and her manipulating cheater boyfriend made her realize that. Completely unfazed by attractive pretty boys, Hailey struggles to keep the tempting blue-eyed charmer with a smile that makes her tingle in the right places at arm’s length. 

Carter Marshall isn’t one to fall fast and hard for a woman, but he’s instantly drawn in by Hailey’s iridescent eyes and quick wit. When he’s hired to redesign the website for a fancy resort, he finagles a way to have Hailey be the photographer on the project. It doesn’t take long for him to see the beauty of her soul and her broken, fragile heart. He wants to be the one to help her heal. When Hailey offers him one night, but Carter realizes he wants a heck of a lot more. 

He wants all of her, for all time.

Join my reader group and never miss a sale, contest, freebie, and new release. We also have a lot of fun playing games, sharing recipes, and getting to know each other. This month, many participated in a book swap. We'll be doing it again in August. Come on over and hang out with us! 
Ricecakes: https://www.facebook.com/groups/1255334934501071/

​You can also follow me on social media: 
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/mariannericeauthor/
Bookbub: https://www.bookbub.com/authors/marianne-rice
Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/Marianne-Rice/e/B00SICUIRM
Website: http://www.mariannerice.com
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/mariannericeauthor/

Twitter: https://twitter.com/mariannericeaut
Goodreads: https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/13477232.Marianne_Rice

If you're in the same boat I'm in, you're spending more time at home these days (whether by choice or not). Some days I think, "I'm going to do this project today!" And then...I don't. I'm still working but it's not as time consuming. I've been using this extra time to work on my fitness goals, and it's going really well. (YAY!) But there's another life changing goal I'm working toward that many of you tackled decades ago.

I'm only four days into this but I hope to keep it up FOREVER. Yeah. That's a huge commitment. Like a marriage or something. ;-) Last week, one of the fabulous people I follow on Instagram posted about the act of making your bed every day. I'm not that person. Never have been...now I may be! She said  that if you make your bed every morning you will have accomplished the first task of the day. 

Hmm. That's pretty cool. I had never thought of it that way before. And by accomplishing this task, it will give you a small sense of pride and encourage you to do another task, and another, and another...


FYI: This beautiful bed isn't mine, unfortunately. 


If you know me, you know I like taking on challenges. So, here's how it went down. I made my bed four days ago and my daughter walked by, did a one-eighty, and came into my room with a super-confused look on her face. "Is someone coming over?" For the record, the only time I ever make my bed is when we have company, which is kind of funny since company never comes upstairs to see my room. But they could, and then they'd know my room's a mess! 

I told her about this being a new goal and the sense of accomplishment I have at completing it just minutes into my day. I got the teenage eye roll and she left my room. It took my husband two days to notice the difference. His response, "It's a waste of time." Time, you say. Well, I timed how long it takes to make our king-size bed with seven pillows, one which always ends up on the floor on my husband's side. 

Twenty-eight seconds. Granted, that was on day one when I was super-excited for my new daily task. Now it takes about thirty-nine seconds. Still, even with my slowing time, I'm pretty sure I'll be able to fit it into my busy schedule that's sure to come back. 

And I have to say, I'm pretty darn proud of myself for making my bed FOUR DAYS IN A ROW! It sounds super-cheesy, but I'm actually pretty proud of myself for making my bed. Now, the pressure is on. The entire house (and now YOU) will know the moment I fail to stay true to my word and accomplish this quite simple first task of the day. 

Really, though, it's about routine. Whether it be exercise, drinking enough water, remembering to walk to the mailbox to get the mail (oops. How many days has it been???), routine is important. Spontaneity is awesome as well, but it's important to have some basic routines in your life, especially if you're working on goals. 

​And especially if you're quarantined at home. So, tell me. Do you make your bed every day?

It's here! Mia and Ryan's story is here!! You met Mia in At First Blush, the first book in my Well Paired series, and have seen her in every book since. Her spunk and sass have been super fun to write, but what man could actually get her to settle down? 
Welcome FBI agent Ryan Thorne. You met him in Lily and Ty's story, What Makes Us Stronger. When I wrote that book, I had no idea Thorne would have his own book, but many readers were mesmerized by his quiet demeanor and wanted to know his story...as did I.
Not one to let my readers down, I dove into the FBI agent's past and discovered his story. He definitely needed fiery Mia Parker to heal his wounds. I hope you love their story as much as I loved writing it. 

Excerpt:
  Love. How could she be in love when she barely knew the man? Two months was not long enough to fall so hard and make her insides feel like they had been ripped into a million pieces.
  Remembering how quickly her friends fell, maybe it was long enough. But they’d spent time with their husbands—their then love interests for days, weeks. They’d gone out on dates.
Heck, Lily even got Ty to go to the drive-in. He hated watching movies with people, but their first time out he went to a double-feature.
  Grace spent a lot of time at Brady’s house helping take care of his mother, and Ben flew across the country for Alexis. What had Ryan done for Mia? What had she done for him?
  They had just sex and then went on their merry way.
  She blinked away the tears and noticed the books on the shelf across from her. Okay, so Ryan sent her two small gifts. Two perfectly perfect gifts that meant more to her than flowers or jewelry.
  He may know her well, but she didn’t know him, which didn’t explain why she hurt so much. When her tears had dried, she dragged herself to another shower and went to bed. It didn’t matter that it was only seven-thirty.
  There was no point staying up when all she wanted to do was close her eyes and either forget she ever met Agent Ryan Thorne, or dream about him for the rest of her life.

​

I see these surveys on Facebook all the time and enjoy reading them about my friends, but rarely complete them myself. I'm in the middle of my NaNoWriMo challenge this month and figured, why the heck not complete a survey and write a blog post? It's procrastination at its best. Here are 24 questions for grown ups. 
1. What bill do you hate paying the most? 
My mortgage. It's the bill that NEVER ends!

2. When was the last time you had a romantic dinner? 
Last weekend was our first night out (weekend away) in over a year!

3. What do you really want to be?  
A full-time writer, but most importantly, I want to be happy. And what makes me happy is when my children are happy, successful, and fulfilled (such a cheesy mom answer, I know).

4. How many colleges have you attended? 
One. University of Maine in Orono.

5. Why did you choose the shirt you have on?
A. It was clean. B. It's three sizes too big C. It's a sweatshirt that is super comfy.

6. Thoughts on gas prices right now? 
I've stopped paying attention since the only places I go are places I HAVE to go to so stressing about gas is useless.

7. First thought when the alarm goes off in the morning?  
NOOOOO! And I hit snooze. Multiple times. 

8. Last thought you have before you go to bed at night? 
"When will this NyQuil kick in?"

9. Do you miss being a child? 
No. I was forced to grow up too fast, and I had more responsibilities than any child should ever have. Most of my memories are of taking care of my sisters, cooking for my family, doing chores, and not being happy. :(

10. What errand/chore do you despise the most? 
Dishes. I'll cook all day, but I hate the dishes and cleaning up the kitchen.

11. Up early or sleep in? 
SLEEEEEEEEPPPPP

12. Found love yet?
Twenty-six years together; twenty-one years married and we've yet to threaten to leave each other ;-) I'd say we're in it for the long-haul.

13.Favorite lunch meat? 
Roasted turkey. Not the slimy kind.

14. What do you get every time at Walmart?  
All of it. All. Of. It. 

15. Beach or Lake? 
Lake life is amazing.

16. Is marriage overrated?
No but it's not all rainbows and roses either. It's tough but it's also what you put into it.

17. Ever crashed a vehicle? 
No. Unfortunately my eighteen year-old has. 

18. Strangest place you've brushed your teeth?
Walking down the driveway to get the mail.

19. Somewhere you've never been but want to go?
Hawaii. Italy. Greece. Paris.

20. Do you have a go to person?
My sisters. :-)

21. Are you where you want to be in life?  
Well, currently I'm in my recliner wearing pjs, fuzzy socks, covered in a fleece blanket, a cup of tea by my side. Oh, in life. Ha! I'm in a good place but hoping to make some changes in a few years. 

22. Growing up what were your favorite cartoons?
Mighty Mouse

23. What do you think has changed about you since you’ve gotten older?
I'm not as carefree as I once was. Responsibilities and having children with medical issues will do that to you. I'm also less trusting than I used to be. People are not always as they seem.

24. Someone who you think will complete this.
Anyone who is procrastinating and has too many things to do.

I'm impressed that you've read this far! I'd love to read your responses. Feel free to comment below. 

I had the pleasure of spending this weekend with the most fabulous readers! The Fall in Love With New England Romance Reader Retreat is by far my favorite event to attend. Not only are the authors generous with their gifts and time, but the readers, they're AMAZING! I was blown away with their handmade and thoughtful gifts (totally unexpected!). This year it was held at the Holiday Inn in Nashua, NH. 

We kicked off the event with a "Charming Meet and Greet" where readers mingled with authors and were given charms to add to their bracelet. Of course, the charm I gave away was a cute little wine glass. Then I played a fun game of "Have and Have Not" with Susan Carlisle. Oh, these readers of ours are quite the adventurous types. There were many stories told and lots of laughs.

After dinner, the authors scurry to their rooms and prepare for the reader trick-or-treat fest. And maybe a sip of wine while traipsing down the hallway. And for those crazy party-goers, the night continued in the restaurant bar and a little sing-along with the band.

Somehow, we mustered up the energy to wake up early on Saturday for a light breakfast. I took part in a panel with Elsa Kurt and Kari Lemor where we talked about the writing process, publication, and promoting. I love the interest many readers have in writing. That's how all authors get started--by reading!

After many more workshops, we had a delightful luncheon, where I hosted a table and gave away this wine and fall inspired basket, followed by a huge book signing. Many participated in the pizza party and Yankee book swap. So much fun! It was exhausting and wonderful, and I can't wait to do it again. I thought the night was over around 9:00 but found Kym and Krystal from Created Purpose and crashed their ring making party.

It was another late night and I went to bed with so many amazing memories of my weekend. If you missed this year's, you definitely want to join us in 2020 where we try to one-up the spectacular event. I hope to see you there!

My dear writer friends, we all have feelings about edits. We either love them or hate them, yes? I'm actually a lover of edits. I look forward to professional feedback that helps make my books as wonderful as they can possibly be. For those of us who have established relationships with fantastic editors, go us! But the search for a good editor can be daunting, am I right or am I right? 

Today I sat down with the fabulous owners of Top Shelf Editing to get some fabulous tips and advice on finding the right editor for YOU and your work.

How to Find the Right Editor for Your Book
Congratulations! You’ve spent weeks, months, or years writing your book, and you’ve just typed “THE END!” Now you know you want to publish your book and get it into readers’ hands. But before you publish, you want to make sure you’ve done your best work and that the book is in its best possible shape to avoid bad reviews and low sales. What do you do now?

You could try to self-edit. But studies have proven, and experts agree, that authors are entirely incapable of catching every single mistake they’ve made. There’s a theory that states that self-editing is similar to staring at one of those optical illusion pictures. 

Our mind sees what SHOULD be there rather than what is ACTUALLY there. So, it’s utterly impossible for authors to catch and fix every single typo, misspelling, and punctuation error. And that’s not even diving into “big picture” issues, such as plot, character-development, pacing, and narrative inconsistencies. So, okay, no. You now know better than to try to self-edit your book.
You could ask a friend/relative/co-worker or even a “beta reader” to edit your book. A lot of authors think this is an effective way to save money on editing. But let me lay out a cold, hard truth for you guys. These people, while well-intending, are NOT professional editors. They have not been trained, nor do the have the experience necessary, to properly and effectively edit your manuscript. Friends and family will simply serve as “yes men,” telling you only the amazing things about your book. Most will be afraid of or are unwilling to provide tough feedback, even if they can recognize major flaws and tiny errors. Beta readers serve a distinct purpose, and I think they are wonderful creatures who are willing to read books for free and help authors. However, again, even if they’ve been reading books for decades, they are still not trained or experienced in editing. So, yeah, no. Not them, either. 
So, if you can’t edit for yourself, and you can’t use friends, family, or beta readers to edit your book, what, then? Well, it’s now time to go on the hunt for a professional book editor, my friend.
I can hear the wheels in your brain turning already…all the way through the internet. I bet you anything, these are the questions circling in your mind.
What do editors do?

Editors provide a wide variety of services, including proofreading, line editing, and content editing. They will take your manuscript, usually received by email, and they’ll go through it line by line and word by word, fixing any mistakes and making notes on “big picture” issues that need to be corrected (if you hire them for content editing, that is). They usually work in Word using Track Changes. They’ll strike through the incorrect parts and add in the corrections. Sometimes, they will add comments in the margins if they have questions or comments about a certain scene or detail. They will then send it back to you for you to take their suggestions and revise your manuscript accordingly. Editors almost always only offer one round of edits included in their quoted fee (more on this later). A good editor, however, will stick around after the edits are concluded and be there to support you as you revise, publish, and even market your book. At Top Shelf Editing, we do just that. We also connect our clients with other trusted service providers, such as cover designers, formatters, and promoters, etc. We even add the author’s published book to our Success Stories page on our website and include the cover image and a buy link so readers can find our clients’ books!
How much do editors charge?

That’s not quite as easy to answer. There is no official “standard” in the industry at the time of this blog post, but the fees vary from editor to editor and are usually based on factor such as the amount of editing each manuscript needs and which services the author chooses. At Top Shelf Editing, we constantly monitor our competitors’ rates, and we price our services below their average rates to remain competitive and make editing as affordable as possible. We want to give authors access to top-quality, professional, experienced editors for less than they might pay elsewhere. Right now, our rates start at .015/word and can go up to .02 per word. Most editors charge similarly, but some charge by the hour. Personally, I don’t trust that way as much, as there’s no real way to “prove” how much time the editor actually spends on a given manuscript. By charging per word, we ensure that the authors know immediately before we start how much it’s going to cost them and be confident that rate won’t change. We also offer payment plans for authors who need them. And we often run discounts and sales offering up to 20% off our rates. 

How to I know I’m hiring the right editor?
The first thing an author should do is to check vetted, trustworthy online resources for lists of editors they recommend. Top Shelf Editing and Christina Kaye (owner) are listed on many of these websites. Here are two of the most trusted sites where you can find editors who have vetted, tested, and confirmed in their skill and abilities:
https://reedsy.com/christina-kaye
https://www.thecreativepenn.com/editors/

Make a list or spreadsheet of the top 10 editors you find on these lists. Make columns for their name, email, rate, and turnaround time. Then narrow your list down to the top 3 candidates you like best. Take those top 3 names and begin the most important part of the process: research them! Type their name in a simple Google search bar. 
A good, quality editing service will have a website, not just a social media page. Is there website professional looking? Do they list their services and clearly state their rates? Do they list testimonials/success stories? Top Shelf Editing is not only present on all social media platforms, but we’re proud of our website. Take a moment to check us out online:
www.topshelfedits.com 
https://www.facebook.com/topshelfeditingllc
https://twitter.com/topshelfedits
https://www.instagram.com/topshelfediting
https://www.pinterest.com/topshelfediting

After viewing their website, keep digging. See if anything negative pops up anywhere because, trust us, authors absolutely will go online and share their negative experiences with service providers. EVERY provider is going to have that one crazy client who wouldn’t be satisfied if Stephen King himself edited their book, so don’t be too alarmed if you only see one or two bad comments. But if you notice several dissatisfied clients, immediately mark that editor off your list. 

Now that you’ve done your editor stalking, it’s time to contact the top candidates directly. Email them (most professionals list their email clearly on their website) and inquire about their availability. Tell them (briefly) about your book (just list your genre, title, and word count), and ask them if they would be willing to provide you with a free sample edit. Be wary of any editor who refuses to do this or who asks you to pay for the evaluation. That’s not a good sign. At Top Shelf Editing, we offer completely FREE sample edits to ALL interested authors. We do a complete edit of the first five pages of your manuscript, including line and content editing, so you can see everything we can do for you. Sample edits work both ways. They allow the editor to show potential new clients what they can do for them and how thorough their edits are, and they allow the author to show the editor what kind of book they’ve written and how much work the manuscript would need. It allows both parties to determine if they’d be a good fit. While you’re waiting on your sample edit, ask the editors to provide you with 2-3 client referrals. And this is important – actually reach out to these referrals! Email them and ask about their experience with Editor X. Authors are always willing to share their experiences, and this is crucial to finding out if this editor is trustworthy. 

When the editor sends you back your sample evaluation, they should also provide you with a complete quote for their rate and estimated turnaround time. It should clearly state the per word (or per hour) rate, the total for the entire manuscript, and a proposed finish date/turnaround time. At Top Shelf Editing, we provide a professional looking document that contains all this information. Authors get back three documents from us: 1) the five sample pages with line edits contained therein, 2) a separate memo containing suggested content changes, and 3) the quote and proposal. 
If you review what they provide, and you are happy with their proposal, the next step is to ask the editor if they are willing to provide a brief, free phone or video chat to discuss the project in further detail. This is not required, but at Top Shelf Editing, we always do this for potential new clients. IT only takes a few minutes of our time, and it lends a personal element to the discussions. IT also allows the author to “pick their brain” and ask any other questions they may have, and it lets both parties feel out the other to make sure they can work together.

Questions to ask the potential editor:
What is your background in editing, and what kind of training/experience do you have?
Have you worked on other books in my genre? 
Can we speak on the phone?
Do you offer package or combined services discounts?
Do you provide a free sample edit/evaluation of my manuscript?
When can you start, and when can I expect the edits to be completed?
Will I be able to ask you follow-up questions after the editing is done and while I’m revising?
Do you offer contracts?
Do you have contacts with other service providers (cover designers, formatters, promoters) you can refer me to?

When you’ve made your selection, and you’re ready to hire Editor X, ask them for a contract. These, again, are not required, but when offered, they are the icing on the proverbial cake. They “seal the deal” between author and editor, and they protect both in the future. At Top Shelf Editing, we provide clients with a brief, two-page contract that covers the total editing fee, any payment arrangements, and the services selected by the author, and it includes standard non-disclosure language to make the author feel comfortable, knowing we will not share or discuss the contents of their book with anyone for any reason.

You have an editor! What now?
Be sure you stay in communication with your editor, but don’t hound them every day to find out if they are loving your book and/or how far along they are. A good editor should keep you apprised every few days to once a week on their progress. Communicate any fears, concerns, or questions with them. They can’t know how to help you if you don’t share your thoughts with them. And be patient. As long as the editor maintains open lines of communication with you and gives you regular updates, sit back and let them work their magic. In fact, the best piece of advice I can offer authors waiting during the editing process is to start that next book! It’ll keep your mind occupied, and besides, there’s no better way to improve in your craft than to practice, practice, practice. 

One final parting piece of advice. When you get your edits back from Editor X, open the document, read through the edits and/or attached memorandum, then close your laptop and let the suggestions sink in. Do NOT respond emotionally or have a knee-jerk reaction to any feedback, even if the criticism seems harsh to you. Editors’ only goal is to help an author polish their book and to help them be the best writer they can be. They have no dog in that fight. There is no reason for them to lie, exaggerate, or be unnecessarily hurtful. After you’ve digested the feedback, make a list of any questions you have, THEN reach out to Editor X and share your concerns. Communication is key to making the author/editor relationship work. But keep an open mind and don’t get all in your feels. 
At Top Shelf Editing, we provide honest but respectful feedback to all our clients. We are never rude or unkind in our criticism, but it doesn’t serve the author or their book for us to sugarcoat the truth or hold back out of fear of wounding egos. Our only purpose in this business is to help authors. Period. End of story.

If you have read this (admittedly long) blog post, and you are ready to seek out an editor, we do hope you’ll keep Top Shelf Editing in mind and that you’ll reach out to us at info@topshelfedits.com with any questions, even if you’re not certain you’re ready to pull the trigger. You’re never bothering us. We’re here to help and pay it forward because we are all authors, too. 
Thanks for listening.
Sincerely,
Christina Kaye
Co-Owner/Editor​

My children inspire me in so many ways. Little Guy's cute antics have played a role in previous books like False Impressions and Then Came You. The inspiration behind the story in my upcoming release, Finding Our Way Back, was from Sports Girl and her obsession...like MAJOR obsession with all things Grey's Anatomy. So much so that she wants to be a doctor, an anesthesiologist or a general surgeon. Yesterday, she had to have surgery--her first--and the doctors were getting a kick out of how observant she was with all things medical. She really, really wanted to remember what the inside of an OR looked like. The anesthesiologist was so sweet and spun her gurney around so she could absorb it all before she went under. And she asked the surgeon if he could take pictures of her foot while he had it cut open. Get this. He did! I REFUSE to look at those pictures but she's fascinated by it all. 

So, my book inspiration. No, it's not from her gross pictures. You're quite welcome. It comes from Grey's Anatomy. I'm not a huge TV watcher and have never seen an episode, but am familiar with the cast. I mean, come on. McDreamy?!?! Who doesn't know him?! (Fun fact: He's from Maine!!) So, a few years ago I tried to have a conversation with Sports Girl but she was, as usual, completely engrossed in a Grey's Anatomy episode. Normally she doesn't talk about the show but I happened to ask why the teary eyes and she gave me a fifteen second premise of the storyline before tuning me out again.

I don't know what happened in the actual episode, but my writer wheels were spinning out of control. I'd already written the first few books in my Well Paired series and Jenna's character had been introduced, but no one knew why she was quiet and elusive. I didn't even know why.

Until Sports Girl told me about the episode. And then Jenna's backstory came to life.  

Hers is a teary one, my friends. But you'll fall in love with her and her hero, I promise. And quite possibly you'll fall in love with another character who now needs their own book!

I can't wait for you to dive into Finding Our Waysmarturl.it/findingourwayback Back and look forward to what you have to say about Jenna...and her hero.

My word for 2019 was--scratch that--IS Balance. I'm a great multi-tasker. I mean, you have to be when you work full-time, have three active teenagers, and also have a writing career. Toss in a husband and, well, I would call him another task. (Kidding, honey. Love you lots!)

I try to do everything I can to be involved in my job/school (I'm a teacher), my writing community, and especially my children's lives. Not like Helicopter Mom mode, I'm SO not one of those. But I want my children to know I care about them and am there to support them in everything they do. If they want me to chaperone events, I do. If they want me to take an active role as a team mom, I do. If they want me to back off, I do.

When Princess started high school four years ago she asked me to stop chaperoning dances. So I did. When Sports Girl started high school last year she wanted me to be around, so I was. I am. Little Guy doesn't care one way or the other but I pretend he really, really, wants me around. And wants to still snuggle, even though he says he doesn't.  

So, there's work, there's kids. And then there's me. I do a lot for others and I'd been interpreting my writing life as doing something for "me". Yes, writing is my outlet. It's what I enjoy doing. But since being published four years ago, it's no longer a hobby but also a potential career. To turn it into a full-time career,, I needed to make more time to write. But then I also realized I wasn't doing anything to take care of me. 

That's when my fitness journey started. I've always been active and I cook a lot of healthy meals, but this aging thing is catching up with me. In March, I started focusing more on my physical health. I started my Balanced Babes workout group (come join us!).  However, with that, ironically, came a cost. In order to squeeze in daily workouts, I lost valuable writing time. But if I write, I'm stationary and not getting my workout done. I have such little time to myself--like thirty minutes between work and my son's games, if I'm lucky. Sometimes it's straight from work to the field if the game is far away. And Sports Girl's games are at night so we're missing family mealtime and getting home late. 

When there aren't games scheduled (which seems to be only one day a week), I'm using that time to workout and not write, hence my lack of blogs since the end of February. This weekend I attended the Maine Romance Writers Retreat. It's always so much fun to get together with fellow authors, but during the writing workshops I realized how much I missed writing. I don't feel complete without working it all in.

So how do I do it? I'm a scheduler. I'm a planner. I'm organized. I'm awesome at multi-tasking. But I'm going to have to own that I can't do absolutely everything. And that's okay. My next task is to figure out how to manage working 45+ hours a week, getting to my kids' games (and picking them up from practice), exercising, and writing. 

It's a challenge I'm ready for. It'll also mean I need to say no to some of the other responsibilities I've tacked on over the years. I don't say 'Yes' because I feel guilty about saying 'No', I say 'Yes' because I truly enjoy doing all the extras. But now it's time to lessen those "extras" and say 'Yes' to more ME stuff. 

Who else is in the same boat? I know I'm not alone. There's so much pressure to do it all these days but we really need to stop and reflect on what's important to us. Just because you can do something doesn't mean you should. What are you going to take off your plate so you can focus on more of?

Having three children under the age of five had its challenges. Princess was working on her independence, the other wanted to be entertained 24-7 and got into everything. Yes, EVERYTHING. The house could never be toddler-proofed enough for Sports Girl. And then there was Little Guy, the most easy-going baby ever, but still, a baby who needed caring for.

I was constantly juggling motherhood, working full-time, trying to find writing time, and figuring out how to be a wife when I just wanted to sleep. And then there were the worries. How would Princess, who had social anxiety and selective mutism, transition into kindergarten? What would Sports Girl get into today? And Little Guy...well, he was chill so I didn't have to stress about him much, thankfully.

As the kids grew, so did the challenges. Princess was diagnosed with Type 1 Diabetes when she was seven. Little Guy would only go to the bathroom outside (he'd drop his pants and go no matter where we were or who was looking!). Sports Girl wanted to participate in every activity there was. Hubby worked 70-80 hours a week, often six days so I was a single mom most of the time.

Oh, and then the fighting. Ugh. As soon as the three kids developed their very different personalities, the fighting escalated. If it wasn't Princess and Sports Girl it was Princess and Little Guy. Usually the girls monopolized the arguing. And as they got older, the arguing was often between mother and daughter. Teenage girls and their mother--there's some special curse put on moms of middle school girls. It was a rough patch for quite a few years. 

With all three into sports, I had to be at three different places at the same time. All.. The. Time. I'd worry about leaving the older two while I stayed at Little Guy's activities. But what if the girls got hurt? What if Princess's blood sugar dropped too low and she passed out? Would the coaches or parents know what to do? What if the girls needed their mom (come to find out, they never did). And then Little Guy was diagnosed with Type 1 Diabetes and celiac disease. The medical worries that had finally calmed started all over again. 

Those of you who have/had teenagers know what the next worry is: driving. You worry if they're not home on time. You worry if it's dark out.  You worry if it's raining. You worry if they're driving on the highway. You worry if it's snowing. You worry every time they're behind the wheel because they're your babies. 

You wish for the less stressful worries: the kids making a mess throughout the house (which, by the way, they NEVER outgrow), not sleeping through the night, can they really be healthy on a diet of chicken nuggets and chocolate milk? You wish for the days when they'd curl up on your lap and wrap their soft, pudgy hands around your neck and wipe their runny noses on your shirt. You wish for all of that back the second you get the call that your teenager has been in a car accident.

My sisters and I had our San Diego Sister trip planned for months. I had just arrived at my sister's house in San Diego last Sunday when I received the news. The first words out of my husband's mouth were, "She's okay. She's not hurt." And then he preceded to tell me about the rest. The sun was beginning to set and blinded her from seeing the GMC that struck the passenger side of her car. 

Her car was pinned between the truck and another car and she couldn't get out until the police came and used the jaws of life to get her out. Miraculously, she wasn't hurt. The airbags went off, all the windows shattered, but she didn't have a scrape on her. She's been sore all week, but we're thankful that's all that physically happened to her. She was shaken, but aware enough to call Dad, and she called work to let them know she was in an accident, even though the accident happened in front of her work. I'm proud of her for remembering to reach for her diabetes supplies, and she told the EMT she was diabetic. 

So now the mama worries have escalated even more. Not only do I worry every time she gets behind the wheel, but now, after seeing the car--which is totaled, I imagine the accident. I picture what she went through. I remember being 3,000 miles away unable to be there for her. To hold her. To hug her. 

Sports Girl has her permit and has been driving with us for the past few months. Little Guy will be up in a few years. I imagine the worry doesn't go away when the kids go off to college (ah! Another set of worries!!) or move out on their own. 

They never end but all we can do is raise our children the best we can and pray they stay safe and they make good decisions. Today, I'm thankful she's safe. I'm thankful for the little bit of bonding that formed between the girls while I was away. I'm thankful for Hubby handling it all with ease (while I would have been a stress case if I was home). I'm thankful to come home to my family who are healthy, happy, and safe. 

​I am grateful.